Running our resort

by **Jacorn** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:00 pm

We had our annual or semi annual family weekend at our place.
And still feel exhausted and the need to vent

DW had all the food details, they do help but.. she felt she was on duty the entire time.

I handled maintenance of anything that needed it, entertainment director, setup of whatever was needed. Tour guide on the river. And general supervisor of keeping little kids out fo trouble.

Decided it is alot of work, maybe worth it, but not so sure.

To start it all off someones 2 year old golden retreiver decided to come inside go directly on top of our new mattress and relieve herself by a couple gallons. :shock:

No idea what posessed her, normally a good trained dog.

Then toys/games we bought for the little kids (not for ours, they are older) broken at a regular pace.

And every trip a kids takes up or down the hill to the water. Means a game of who can kick the biggest rock down the hill, talk about major weekend erosion :roll:

Next year is definately in question

by **Honey Harbour Honey** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:06 pm

Oh Jacorn,....that sounds frightful at best!!! We use to host "family weekend" at our place as well. Luckily the dogs and kids have gotten older (and better trained) and now they are enjoyable. Basically I just ended up pouring more wine!!!!

by **redindianguy** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:38 pm

I hear ya . People do take big time advantage . I just got done telling my wife we are not the food supply chain for everyone that comes . It gets crazy . we want everyone to have a good time , but not be taken advantage of .

by **Jacorn** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:55 pm

Yeah I didn't even mention all the food we had to buy feeding 20 people all weekend. they brought a few things but we spent a fortune.

They are getting older I guess
2 young girls 9 & 10 they are never any trouble, they just like to hangout with my 18yo daughter. And she doesnt mind once a year.

But the 3 boys are something else, my 17yo son isn't as good of an entertainer. LOL

Last year they also had the "kick rocks down the hill game". No matter what I say they can't stop it's just too fun.

But at least they outgrew the "let's see who can throw the coolest thing into the outhouse hole." Which of course I have to fish it all out of there, so it can get pumped out. (it's on a tank)

by **RJH** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:37 pm

Cottage time is for me and LW and our pets. And...my son if he happens to show up - which is rare.

My sons friends show up maybe once or twice but they bring a wheelbarrow full of food and booos. They fish all day....

LW - likes them - as they do ALL the cooking as well.

Other than that...

We invite nobody - unless its absolutely neceaasry.

get their own friggin cottage... :wink:

When we ask - we only ask once.

by **gbayfisher** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:59 pm

How would it go with the family if you put an end to the family weekend?
Other than that, the only thing you can do is be upfront and honest with the guests about the behavior.

by **poorlakejoe** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:24 pm

CL magazine just had a great article on how to deal with guests. we don't invite too many people up either as our cottage is pretty small. My niece and nephews usually have a party once a year in their own cottage on the property, but they're older now and pretty responsible. Just a loud card game or 2! It sounds like you need a rest after your annual weekend!!!!

by **PrinceEdwardCottagers** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:31 pm

Where are the parents of these monsters? Since when is a family gathering a wild free for all. I'm really disgusted that families think this kind of behaviour from their kids is acceptable. There isn't enough wine on the planet for me to overlook this insanity.
If it were me I'd "vote the bunch of them off the island" and never host one of these events again.

by **Bernie** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:11 am

I inherited the original family cottage. It seems like the family gathering is automatically held here. It's a lot of work for preparation and the cleanup after.
But they were good enough to let me have it and it probably needs the cleanup anyway.

by **Peregrine** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:00 am

Hmmm, this story you tell Jacorn is very familiar to many of us. Kind of makes you wonder if there is any benefit in continuing these annual events. If you decide that you are moving forward, perhaps some ground rules in advance. Assign items for each family to bring, ask that people do not bring their pets, let everyone know (in a humerous way) that you dont want a repeat of last years events (rock rolling, high dive into the dumper, etc). Assign people some basic tasks upon arrival. Dont be afraid to let them know how much work it is to host these events.
Good luck!

by **PrinceEdwardCottagers** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:02 am

What happened to good old "pot luck". For family/friend gatherings it shouldn't be outragous to ask everyone to contribute to food and activities. With the invention of coolers we can all bring food safely for distances in the car. As for the clean up....many hands make light of work!

by **Honey Harbour Honey** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:14 am

We try to assign people with specific meals. They are responsible for cooking and cleaning up after that meal. It helps avoid duplication, you know...30lbs of pasta salad but nobody brought eggs!!!!

by **Dad Fixit** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:22 am

We host a few large gatherings each year. This past w/e had 6 adults & 10 kids and we've had up to 21 at one time.

The only way I keep my sanity through these is, as other suggested, divide up the food duties (include cook & clean up too). Some will argue that since I invited I shouldn't expect them to contribute but I look at it as having these people for an opportunity to enjoy their company ... not to demonstrate my culinary skills (or lack thereof). I've always found people more than willing to pitch in when asked ... but unless asked they just don't know how they can help out.

After that, I just accept that something will get broken. As long as it's not malicious I just shrug it off and add it to the to-do list. If it's not accidental I wouldn't have issue speaking with the parents but fortunately haven't had to cross that bridge.

Oh ... and I drink a lot too so that helps :lol:

by **PrinceEdwardCottagers** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:22 am

A good "diplomatic" way of assigning food & rules is to send out invitations prior to the event. You can make them fun but firm in your requests. Under rules...."no rock rolling"...and then explain why. I know it seems ridiculous to have to spell all this out, but obviously they are continuing to let their kids do this so they must not get why it's not a good idea. Same for the outhouse, etc.
As for the food, come up with a menu for the day and circuate by email prior to the event and ask everyone to sign up for what they would like to bring. We do this all the time with my husband's large family and it works out beautifully. Title the email "Due to tough economic times..."
If anyone gets bent out of shape with the new rules, then suggest to them that the next family reunion could be at their house and they can remove all the rules!! Bet they don't go for that idea!

by **bajra** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:59 am

I can't speak from experience since the cottage is not finished yet, but back in the city whenever we host a family event such as New Years or just simple get together, everyone knows their place. They help with food preparation and part of the bill, booze is of course provided by us, few cases of beer and few bottles of wine, anything fancier than that - bring your own. Clean up is always spread out, so I expect it will be the same at the cottage when done. Don't be shy to ask and tell what is expected, and when wild kids are present, I take the role of the educator. If the parents don't like it, they don't get invited next time, or it's sans kids.

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